Living With Lizzie

People change. People grow. People part ways and go different directions as their lives evolve. This isn't a bad thing. Growing is so beautiful. Finding your way through life is amazing. You meet new people who fit where you are. Wives want to be friends with other wives. Mothers want to be friends with other mothers. The same with husbands and fathers, as well as everyone else. You want friends who are going through and experiencing the same things you are. These are the people you need. The ones who understand where you are and can help you through life. This isn't to say you can't have a friendship with those who are not where you are. You absolutely can. But at the end of the day, we all need people who share our love, joys, interests, and experiences. People who help us move forward by doing the same, and not hold us back by staying where they are. Growing is scary. But, man, is it beautiful.

When I first met you, I had no idea just how badly I needed you. I knew I needed someone, but I never expected you to be that person. I was walking around with so much darkness hanging over me. My mind was spiraling out of control and, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop it. I put on a front for everyone, but you saw past my smile. I had never felt as comfortable with anyone else as I did with you. I had so many walls up, but one by one, you knocked them all down. You made me feel so safe and so loved, and I knew I could trust you when I couldn't trust anyone else. Though it took a little while, once I started opening up to you, you listened without judgment. You never rushed our conversations or made me feel like I was a burden to you. You showed me that I was loved and that you truly cared. You gave me exactly what I needed and, unbeknownst to you, you saved my life in the process. I wouldn't be where I am if it weren't for you and your unconditional love. Y

When I look back on my childhood, you make an appearance in many memories. From jamming to The Beach Boys, to going to Disney World and football games, to doing The Macarena in your living room, to spending a couple of weeks with you during a few Summers. I will never forget what a huge impact you had on my life growing up. I was your girl, and you were my hero. I wanted to be just like you. I still do. Thank you for loving me unconditionally, and for always being here for me. Thank you for teaching me about life, and for always encouraging me. Thank you for being real with me, no matter the situation. Even though I would get mad at the time, thank you for being so protective of me. Knowing you love and care about me enough to tell me what I need to hear, despite how it will make me feel, makes me love you even more. I hope and pray I'm half the aunt to my niece that you are to me. Thank you for being more than an aunt. Thank you for being my best friend. I would be lost withou

When one or both of your parents leave and abandon you, you have to live with it for the rest of your life. I never thought that it would affect every relationship I would ever have, but it did. Be it friendship or a romantic relationship, I always wonder when they'll be leaving. Because if my own parent could leave me, why would anyone else want to stay? I, sometimes, find myself questioning my self worth. Am I good enough for anyone? Will I ever be? I mean, truly good enough. Will my friends decide one day they no longer want me around? Will my husband randomly decide he doesn't love me anymore? Do they really love me or do they just say they do to make me feel better? Do I really make them happy or are they just putting on a front? Some say they can't imagine life without me. Is that true? Or will they suddenly decide their life will be better without me, as they walk away? All of these feelings stem back to being left and abandoned by the one who never should hav

1 . What’s one thing that’s happened to you that has made you a stronger person? Growing up without my biological dad. 2 . What’s one thing that’s happened to you in your life that made you feel weak? Dealing with and struggling to defeat my personal demons. 3 . Where is one place you feel most like yourself? Anywhere as long as I'm with my husband. 4 . Where is your favorite place to escape to? I absolutely love going to my family's farm in Wetumpka, Alabama. It's so pretty and relaxing.  All of my worries fade away when I'm there. 5 . Who do you think has had the largest influence on the person you are today? Definitely my Mawmaw and Granddaddy. They taught me to love everyone, never be ashamed or afraid to share the love of Christ, and to always put The Lord first in everything I do. There's no way I would be who I am today without them. 6 . If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? I wish I had more self control. 7 .

They say you can learn a lot about a person by looking into their eyes. The eyes are the window to our soul, after all. I didn’t feel that way when I looked into his eyes, though. When I looked into his eyes for the first time, I saw darkness. I saw an emptiness that was hidden with a smile and words that he knew I wanted, and so desperately longed to hear. The words he spoke to me when we first met were what every little girl desires to hear from her father. But, I knew they were lies. I knew I couldn’t let him in and let him see how torn I was. How torn I was between loving and hating him. I wanted so badly to be loved and accepted by my father, but I knew deep down it would never happen. As much as it hurt, I couldn’t make myself vulnerable to his ever so loving tone and sweet demeanor. I knew better. After our visit, I hugged him and told him goodbye. I fought back the tears and walked away from the man who helped create me. I walked away from the man I knew would never love me.